don't pretend you're a dog when you aren't

I'd rather be nemo than emo
Thursday, January 04, 2007

Last night I dreamt I went to karaoke with Lindsey Lohan, Gertrude Stein, and Red Green's nephew Harold, and I was very witty, but whenever I turned away Lindsey would pretend to stick a finger down her throat and make gagging sounds like she thought I wasn't the wittiest person in the world when I actually am and I caught her one time and I said to Lindsey that she was already too skinny and bulimia was so 1990s and then Lindsey said something lame to me, and I was all pfffffffffffffft, and then I started telling Gertude Stein about how I practically invented karaoke and then Lindsey and Harold starting making out like none of the rest of us where there and then fil walked in with cid on his head and he started accusing me of wanting to sleep with Gertrude Stein, and I said NO you want to sleep with Gertrude Stein and then fil said NO I want to sleep with Gwen Stefani, and then I said NO I want to sleep with Gwen Stefani, and then cid jumped off of fil's head and became all psycho attack terminator cat and bit me on the lip and I started pretend crying to see what fil would do and of course you know what fil did he brushed me aside and went running after cid who was trying to dry hump Gertrude Stein's leg, and then I said something funny about how I guess that CID IS THE ONE WHO WANTS TO SLEEP WITH GERTRUDE STEIN and I knew it was the funniest thing that would be said all night even though nobody laughed and after that I ruled at karaoke until I got too drunk to see and then I woke up and here I am

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